Philo Cliff Notes

The 5 Commandments of Philo

  1. Thou shalt draw fast! Speed is the key. This is convention-level or 24-hour comic level art. It’s OKAY if it’s not perfect.
  2. Thou shalt name your panel numbers! Whether you are using separate files or different layers on a single file, PLEASE label your panel numbers. I can’t emphasize this enough.
  3. Thou shalt write in thy captions first. This both helps you remember what you’re drawing in the moment and helps me later on when I am piecing it together. Handwriting is OKAY as I can change it later when I build the pages. Just as long as there is writing there for me to work with.
  4. Thou shalt do thy tech check. We can schedule it early or the day of, but at least 30 minutes to an hour to get everything set up before air time. I log into the room 20-30 minutes before airtime for the quick tech check but it’s important to get everything working ahead of time. Even I have screwed up without doing tech check ahead of time.
  5. Though shalt have fun! This is not meant to be a heavy-stress thing, it’s meant to be a fun thing to do on Saturday nights making a comic of insanity. If you aren’t enjoying yourself, let me know and I’ll see what I can do to improve the show.

Story and Character Notes

This is a quick run down of key moments or characters throughout the wild evolving story of Philo. This page is meant as a quick reference for guest artists on the program and is not an end-all-be-all guide for viewers. The basic plot and repeat characters were highlighted here, but if anything pops up during filming that isn’t on this list, let me know and I’ll add it. This is in chronological order to give you an idea of “the plot.” If a viewer finds this page, congrats! here’s a peek behind the curtain. 

The whole story started with Philo making pasta in his kitchen and the dog eating the pasta. Philo tries to stop him and trips, spilling a knife out.

The knife falls and cuts Philo’s fingers.

Philo’s fingers regenerate as the dog eats the pasta off of the ground.

The dog vomits up the fingers, which form into Otis, a shaded version of Philo. Otis is compelled to make pasta and continues to do so while Philo reads comic books.

Bluto (from Popeye) comes home to Philo to find Otis cooking pasta and Philo reading comics. Philo explains to Bluto where Otis comes from.

Bluto gets to ideas to chop Philo into multiple pieces to have an army of servants, so he grabs to cleaver. The dog rushes to protect Philo, and gets into a fight with Bluto.

Bluto reforms into an enlightened being.

I’m just going to include the whole page here. Bluto transforms into a Puma after being enlightened and they all form into the Kaiju Centigod, destroying government buildings, which disappoints Godzilla.

Godzilla brings the Centigod before the kaiju counsel to decide if they violated kaiju rules or not. The members of the counsel are King Kong, Mothra, and Gamora with Godzilla as the prosecution and Manilla (son of Godzilla) as the defense lawyer for the Centigod. Slattern (from Pacific Rim) can be seen as the security officer behind the Centigod here.

An ice cream truck goes by the courthouse, blasting our group apart from their combined hunger. The kaiju counsel disbands (because the Centigod kaiju is no longer around), blaming Godzilla for wasting their time.

The humans turn on our group so they use the ‘ol “What the hell is that?!?” trick to get the crowd to look in the other direction as they slink off.

Otis becomes a Were-Vending Machine that contains a portal to other realms. Our group goes through the portal.

They enter the land of Phila with Otis joining the group last. Phila is a big, giant female Philo surrounded by a bunch of Woman of Wilendorf statues that act as her guard. The Wilendorfs are not happy with men (our group members) being in their realm.

Otis becomes a lotus.

The Wilendorfs smoosh Philo, Bluto, and the dog into female versions of themselves while Otis emerges from the Otis lotus as Dhat Badan, an African Goddess. She and the giant Phila become friends. They tour Phila’s O-shaped castle, finding a non-O-shaped door. The hall of doors beyond transform them before they are invited to the Wilendorf’s ball.

The group gets drugged so they could kidnap Dhat Badan. We find out that the Wilendorfs are in cahoots with Meow, a cat dictator evil genius dude, who wants to take over the land of Phila to become rich. Their plan is to place Dhat Badan in as a figurehead of the government as he runs it from behind the scenes. Our group wakes up in an oubliette (“a place of forgetting” in French), Bluto goes Puma-mode, and escapes.

Bluto comes to the surface to find an eclipse empowers Phila and her giant beavers she makes to overthrow the traitors. Meow escapes into the forest as our group also slinks away. 

The giant beavers build a dam to trap Meow in the forest once they’ve run across him. He assesses his surroundings and situation.

Our group stumbles upon the fight as Meow channels his Qi (Chi). He and the giant beavers get into a large fight with our group stunned, watching. Our group is still female at this point.

The Kaiju counsel interrupts to decide if the giant beavers are kaiju and therefore under their rules of conduct. This distracts Meow, the Beavers, and Phila from our group whom find flying pigs to get back to the O-shaped castle to rescue Dhat Badan/Otis. There, the Wilendorfs greet them at the O-shaped castle by flinging porta potties and shit on themselves to empower their strength. The giant beavers are deemed “Magical Canadian beings,” and therefor NOT kaiju by the counsel.

The giant beavers, the kaiju counsel, and Phila take Meow into custody back to the O-shaped castle. The Wilendorfs that didn’t betray Phila take Meow down into the dungeon just as our group finds Dhat Badan/Otis there as well.

Dhat Badan/Otis uses his portal power to transport them all into another dimension to escape the insanity in the land of Phila.

They exit into the stomach realm, which is a void space with a bunch of floating stomachs everywhere. The group also become men again at this point when they passed through the portal. They try multiple times to escape through Otis-portals, but keep coming back into the stomach realm.

The dog chews through the lining of the stomach they are in, releasing the group into the stomach void. There, the group starts performing stand up comedy on a bunch of floating stages, telling the story of how they got there. They all disagree on how and the word balloons themselves start fighting with each other, until the word balloons are telling stand up comedy in the stomach realm void.

In the stomach realm there is a two-drink minimum for watching comedy. Our group orders drinks, made by Armond the bartender (a giant octopus). Two spies (from Spy vs Spy) deliver a message from Meow.

Meow tracked the group to the stomach realm with a Spider-tracker. He is in the control room of his lair back in the land of Phila. The dog can smell Meow on the tracker.

There is a spider-tracker on the spider-tracker that belongs to the kaiju counsel. They smash both trackers.

Armond takes the group to the exit of the stomach realm warning them they’ll be digested if they stay. He flushes them down to the next dimension.

Everything is going according to “Meow’s plan.” as of this writing, there is no clear plan written, but these are the two drawings that came out of “the plan.” Dale’s panel on the left has something to do with the kaiju counsel, capturing our group, and underpants. My panel has the group plus Meow and the Were-Vending Machine portal power of Otis equals love with Phila.

The Otis-portal takes them to the top attic tower of Meow’s Lair where he keeps his mixtape collection of unrequited love for Phila. Our group listens to the mixtapes before escaping the tower by tackling some of the spies looking for them and wearing their clothes to move around the lair/castle freely.

Meow spots them as they are trying to slink away, and a fight breaks out between everyone in the castle and the members of our group. There is a “break glass for Taxi” sign.

Meow takes the taxi and escapes from our group and his Lair.

Meow has henchmen tryouts at the Supervillain motel where our group stays the night to rest. Our group crashes the tryouts in the disguise of “Horsey,” a 2 person horse costume they are all in.

After a training montage they are hired and go through orientation.

Meow thinks he brainwashed  “Horsey,” who henches for a bit before discovering Meow’s treasure vault.

The Beagle Boys show up to rob Meow of his treasure. They lock eyes and have a dance-off for the treasure.

The Beagle Boys and our gang have a dance off for the treasure, which the Beagle Boys cheat at.

The Kaiju Council is watching the Dance-off on their monitor as they go over their plan to continue their Kaiju blood lines.

We then have a flashback to the Kaiju planet losing all of its water, becoming Earth, and then exploding (ala Krypton) just after Philo was put into a rocketship by some Rodans.

We then see Philo land on Earth (?!?! I don’t know either) in Wisconsin, with Rodans fishing in the lakes there.

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